Renji in

OK everybody......

I'm going to try to get all the pics up on Thursday.  I am starting a new class tomorrow and did wind up going back to the expo today,  I know its hard...... but please be patient :P  Thanks again for being soooooo cool! 
Nighty night! 

  • Current Music
    HAPPY PEOPLE - Skoop On Somebody
Renji's smile

When they estimated 40,000 people, THEY WEREN'T KIDDING!

OMG!!! OMG!!! OMG!!!
Anime Expo is one of THE ALL TIME most ♥fun♥  things I have ever done!!! This was my first time. It was really incredible to meet so many new friends:) It's really late and I do plan to go back tomorrow, so it's bed time! Ya’ll are QUICK! Thank you all for the emails and pictures!!!!!!! I promise to -post -send- mine soon and answer emails, perhaps Monday if I'm too tired to go back to the Expo. Take care everybody! *hugs!*
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@>‘~~,~~~*****HAPPY BUTTERFLY DANCE!!!*****~~~,~~’<@

Yes folks…. It’s true! I got an A in my first class! 
Wish I had time to celebrate!

  • Current Music
    CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES - Kool And The Gang

I wish......

Well, class is over for a short while, good thing, I need the break. The days between classes are crammed with things that need to be finished unfortunately, I’ll miss going out to boogie for awhile, it‘s not really a REAL break. My oral presentation went very well, now I just need to wait on the score of the final. The field of majors in the running have definitely been narrowed down, I know what I will have to do in order to transfer to a university if I so choose. Cool.  That class flew by, I hope the rest that follow do so as quickly.

And…. A little poetry.

♥ ♥ Just two at just 2

Stirred beyond the witching hour,
Blindfolded in the dark,
Journey on to parts unknown,
At the beach or in a park,

Silence but the creatures night,
Bare skin caressed upon cool breeze,
Anticipate the lover’s heat,
The chill will bring one to their knees,

Heightened senses wait for more,
Finally a feather touch, 
Sensation roars to life within,
Can’t believe it feels so much,

Empty mind, all fades away,
Frogs and crickets disappear,
Senses flood to overflow,
Gentle sighs are all to hear,

Softly rise,
And tender fall,
In this moment,
Take it all.

Spreading heat engulfs the soul,
Time and space will be no more, 
Floating free, so safe and loved,
The heart is now an open door.♥

  • Current Music
    Metallica - SAD BUT TRUE

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Just a little poetry ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Flower grows in rocky soil,
The hardest ground but still she bloomed,
Sir she found then potted ground,
Not to know that she’d be doomed.

Tried to grow without the rain, 
Loves kisses to quench tender roots,
Hunger for drops to caress her leaves,
To steep the soil and tender shoots,

Sad her pretty blossom face,
Turned down with lonely lack of care,
Sir he watered all around,
But none for her with whom he laired.

No longer pretty, time fleetingly goes,
Disheartened flower left to die, 
But someone sees the beauty still, 
Takes her in, she is still alive.

A better pot and some new soil,
Flower droops a little less,
Not rains kisses, though quenching love,
Her broken heart can find some rest.

New color gleams from shining crown
Leaves growing bigger as they may,
True friends that tend her fragile heart,
She loves them more each passing day.

Flower’s pretty, Flower’s strong,
Dance and sing the day and night,
Flower has a heart that’s pure,
She’ll find a Sir who’s love is right.

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The princess and the pea.... that's me! ------'----,----'-------<@

Well…. I got a new bed, this one is soooo much better. I’m comfortable, but unfortunately still not sleeping very well. Only had it 2 days so maybe time will help. It is sooo tall it is hard to get into, I love itJ 
Everyone around here has been really tired, not just me, though the sleeping issues are all my own.

I had lunch with my son, my mom, and our friend yesterday which is always a pleasure.  Got some new great smelling beauty stuff too.
We were suppose to have D&D tonight but nobody could make it, I’m bummed. I absolutely ♥love♥ my character, she is a nasty little dwarf named Slurpette. I can’t wait for Eric to play with us, I know he is gonna love my rude, vertically challenged, little beastie of a girl.  Muahahahaha!

I should be doing homework right now but I really don’t want to. I have to finish perfecting my oral presentation, which will be given right before the final. Wow that class flew by. Thank goodness martial arts has no mandatory homework. I wish I had time to take pottery, and also a kickboxing class I was invited to, but I just don’t have the time, never mind dating. Oh well. 
The class I've taken gave me a lot of insight into what I may want to peruse as a future career, but the actual material was not laid out in what I would consider an orderly fashion, I am still very confused about the mountain of information given. I have doubts about how I will do on the final, but I got A’s on all the homework so it’s anybody’s guess what my end grade will be. Amazingly, I am actually popular in school for the first time,....ever. ***happy dance*** I really like it. 
Bah, can't put homework off forever,

  • Current Music
    Queensryche - Is Anybody Listening?

Nobody move!!!... I dropped my brain......

WOW, very tired. 
Learning so much I can feel my brain growing….owwwww
School, study, work, chores, karaoke, dancing. repeat
School is great. I am meeting a ton of interesting people.
Study is great but sometimes frustrating. I have been lucky in getting guys that are good study partners though.
Work is a lot of work, but I like being busy instead of idle and the repetitive nature of knowing what, how and when to do what I should be doing is satisfying.
Karaoke is very entertaining, we are buying a machine at home so we can practice and I’ll get more comfortable. Probably sing better too. (maybe then people will stop leaving when I’m up….lol) JK! 
Dancing is practically my favorite thing in the world to do. It’s only reserved for Fridays though cause I have to pretend to be a responsible adult. Muahahahahaha! 
Some interesting things… 
I saw a ladybug that was completely black with a pumpkin orange legs and head. I wonder if it was unique. 
I saw pirates with my son, it was really good, definitely recommended. 
The frogs sing at night while I am at work. After I put my companion to bed I sit out there sometimes and stare out into the blackness where I know the ocean is, and dream of my future. There must be wetlands or something nearby. Simply beautiful.
There is a lizard that moved in on the balcony at work. It appeared there as I was contemplating a serious life decision. Maybe just a strange coincidence, but every time I have been out during the day, trying to make an important decision, no matter where I am, I look over and see a lizard. Suddenly the decision becomes clear. So far every decision has been by far the right choice. I hope to see one when I’m choosing my major, which is coming up very soon. 
♥ Karma is so kind to me. I feel sorry for the bad people. Karma can also be one mean-assed, stone-cold bitch.

  • Current Music
    Naughty Girl - Beyonce

Flowers die without water..... unless they are fake.

I’m so busy now I don’t have time to think, it’s greatJ

I was at the beach on Saturday. OMG I MISS IT!!!!!!! What I wouldn’t do to live there again. Not that I don’t love my housemates, but………….. I love the smell, the way my hair gets thick in the salty air, the warmth even though there is a breeze, the sound of the waves. Home, the only place I have ever truly felt it. I used to go out drinking, after the parties were over, I’d go down to the beach in the pitch blackness, and walk into the surf in my clothes. I’d get about chest deep and let the swell lift me over the breaking surf. The peace I found out there alone, in the roar of the waves, in the cold, total darkness was like no other I have ever known. For some reason, though it could have on many many occasions, the sea never took my life. It was always gentle, always let me walk away when I was ready to leave. The memories of those nights are very special to me. I don’t believe I would tempt fate that way now, but the sea, she is and always will be one of my closest friends.

School is NOT how I thought it would be, the teacher made us turn to the person next to us in the first 5 minutes of class and gave us 10 minutes to get to know them well enough to introduce them to the class and talk about who they are. My new friend is a very tall young blond by the name of Sean, wouldn’t THAT just figure? He is very nice and totally unpretentious, we are now “study buddies“….lol I nearly fainted trying to give his introduction, but he thought I did a good jobJ I was very pleased with the introduction he did for me. Back to school tomorrow, I just finished my homework.

I went to a karaoke bar with a new group, they were a riot. Gaaaa………!, They got me up on stage to sing. Ok maybe the kettle got me up on stage to sing. Earth, Wind and Fire ROCK! (well, maybe not when I’m singin’ it) It was a really good time. I needed to get home, but everybody else wanted breakfast, so Denny’s here we come! I was feeling very nostalgic so I had a banana split. (a favorite after party treat in my younger years) I’m not sure if it was a good or bad idea to eat a bowl of sugar at 3 am. Those were extremely some funny peeps, we laughed so hard my stomach hurt. Haven’t laughed like that in quite a long time. They wanted to do it again tonight, but I had to say go without me. Priorities…. School… then fun. Maybe Friday.

Well, better try and sleep, I’m sure the teacher will have us do something that will throw my comfort level out the window again! Mistress Ocean, give me strength! Lol!

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The candle dances

Sorry for being morbid, the candle speaks to me.......

What can you really do when you find out so much of what you thought you knew is not what you thought it was? So much you desperately wanted to believe in is destroyed? When so many single events are relayed in an impossible variety, when the solid ground and walls of truth are nowhere to be found, when you find yourself freefalling through an uncertain misty darkness?

Can the past strip off your flesh in small, agonizing pieces? Can it pull out your heart so slowly you can feel the nauseating torture of veins there attached stretch, and tear as they slide through the muscles? How many days can you endure this repetition? Can you run out of tears before you run out of pain?

Can you hide these daily deaths from everyone? Can you embrace this tormenting distress until it leaves you? Can you pretend to be ok until you really are ok? Can you accept that you’ll never know the truth and take to heart that it truly doesn’t matter? That you were meant for something wonderful you cannot begin to foresee, cannot yet even comprehend? That you are a beautiful entity, that even though it doesn’t feel like it yet, the wind rushing past you in freefall will someday in the distant future, take you far away, to a better, happier, pain free place? 
Can you?

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    indescribable indescribable